Charming Thanksgiving Poem: “Goodbye Pumpkin Pie”

Read this one to the kids tomorrow.  They’ll love it.

Year after year
I go crazy
Every Thanksgiving
I sit with the babies
It’s the little kids’ table;
The table for tots,
Where my mom makes me sit
If I like it or not.

The table for grown-ups
Is fit for a king,
With goblets And giblets
And gold napkin rings,

But here all the kids Drink
from Styrofoam cups
We eat small turkey bits
That our moms have cut up.

I have dozens of cousins
Age one and age two,
Whose Thanksgiving feast
Is a greenish-brown goo.

They slop up their faces
With vegetable mashes,
And after they drink
They all have milk mustaches.

“What’s wrong?” asked my mom,
She was pouring some drinks;
“You haven’t touched dinner…
Not one single thing!”

She straightened the napkin
Tucked under my chin,
She gave me a hug
As she pushed my chair in,

She dished up a spoon
Of potatoes and gravy;
My mom tried to feed me
Like I was a baby!

Well, my face turned as red
As the rhubarb pie filling!
I quick turned away,
And my cup went a-spilling!

BOOSH! Water splashed
on Mom’s face and her hair,
And it looked like some gravy
Was mixed up in there.

I should’ve said “Sorry!”
I should’ve said “Oops!”
I should’ve helped mom
Wipe the gravy-brown goop

I opened my mouth- – –
Do you know what I did?
I sassed my mom back
Like a spoiled snotty kid.

“I can use my own fork!
I can use my own knife!
And I don’t want to sit
the table for tikes!”

Then mom said, “I think
Thanksgiving’s all through,”
And I think that it’s time
“You go up to your room.”

I walked past the turkey,
The dressing and trimmings,
My feast was now ending
Before its beginning.

“Goodbye, pumpkin pie!”
I said, as I walked by it,
“So long, green bean bake!”
Though I never would try it.

I sat all alone
On my bed feeling hungry.
It felt like I had
A stone knot in my tummy

My belly growled out
Like a great grizzly bear
And I knew, pretty soon,
I’d need something down there!

Anything, ANYTHING!
Liver, or beets!
Even heaps of Hungarian
pickled pigs’ feet!

I was just about ready
To snack on my hat,
When I heard someone knocking,
RAT-TAT-A-TAT-TAT!

It was mom with a plate
Piled high with a feast,
And it didn’t seem that
she was mad in the least.

She set up a TV tray
Right by my bed,
And she gave me a kiss
On the top of my head.

“You’re growing up fast,”
She said, hiding a tear
“Won’t you join the adults
For Thanksgiving next year?”

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