What are we saying when these thoughts enter our hearts and minds (and even our prayers)?
“I know better.” Stop and think about the arrogance in that. You don’t know everything, God. You do not know what is best for me. I am much more adept at orchestrating and controlling things.
We all have an over-inflated opinion of our own significance, and some of us perhaps have elevated ourselves to idolhood (ship? ocity?). If you were able to fill in that blank above, I would encourage you to offer that concern to God, in the humility of His Son, “Not my will, but thine be done.” Honestly, think about all the things you thought you needed through the years that were not bestowed upon you. Did some of those things result in disaster–disaster that did not drag you into its undertow, because God knew better?
Consider your smallness, and read Job 38. The more you understand His majesty, the easier it is to trust Him. That will happen as you spend time in His Word, not while you are recounting your list of rights and entitlements. Gain some good perspective today from truth rather than feelings. Truths like this:
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
I had a room mate in college who shared with me that she knew a child who had memorized this verse. This is the way it was quoted to her:
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; YAY!!! I will help thee; YAY!!! I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
God is always there, always interested, always strong enough, always able, and never surprised or caught off-guard. That’s worth cheering about. 🙂 We have so much in Him:
I will love thee, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Ps. 18:1,2
THAT’S what ought to be filling in that blank, and if it’s “not happening”…I guarantee you it isn’t His fault.