Being Your Husband’s Team Mate

These are notes that I actually used several years ago; but at that time I entitled the lesson, “Being Your Husband’s Cheerleader”.  When I re-vamped them for use this fall, God brought some things into focus for me regarding wifery. =)  I am not to be just on the sidelines, cheering my sweetie on to victory…I am an active part of the team!  I hope perhaps these ideas will be a help to you as you minister alongside your husband…or perhaps in a counseling session where you need a “boost”.  I know they have helped us.

Go Team!

  • o We are “one flesh”, so everything that concerns our husbands concerns us as well.
  • o Gen. 2:23,24
  • o We are members of the body of Christ, and are not intended to function independently of one another. Each member serves the others. (Remember servants are to be used, not lauded!)
  • o Rom. 12:5
  • o 1Cor. 12: 12, 27
  • o We are to be a completer to our husbands, which suggests that without you, at this point in his life, he is not whole; he needs your partnership.
  • o Gen. 2:18


Be a Help-Meet to your Team Mate!

  • Pray for him
    • The best way to change our focus from being self-centered to spouse-centered.
    • The only way to gain God’s mind about his needs!
  • Respect him
    • Let others know and see the respect you have for him
    • Make or recognize opportunities for him to be your Hero
    • Respect his position as authority and provider in the house
    • Share sentiments that convey your contentment in your role
    • “A woman who reviews her husband’s past failures and resists his decisions destroys his sense of self-worth.  When she resists his physical affection, she crushes his spirit.  If she takes matters into her own hands and intrudes into her husband’s arena of responsibility, she may temporarily avert negative consequences, but she may cause ultimate destruction in their marriage relationship.” Dr. Don Dunlap, Christian counselor
    • We should not show greater loyalty to other leaders such as relatives, friends, etc. than we do to our husband
  • Trust his wisdom
    • Go to him for your answers.  “A wife should go to her husband with spiritual questions, acknowledging the fact that God may use her questions to draw her husband closer to Himself!” 
    • We must rest in his decisions and pray when we feel uncertainty
    • Give him room to fail, and wisely appeal to him while continually expressing love as God teaches him
  • Praise him
    • Applaud his accomplishments
    • Regularly offer verbal encouragement and incentives-not just when he “deserves it”
    • Offer compliments abut his appearance/appeal
    • Show joy in his very presence
    • Be his primary source of “pats on the back”, or he will seek it elsewhere
  • Accept him
    • Unconditionally (agape)
    • Not for what you want him to be someday, but what he is today
    • “Don’t imagine you can change a man unless he is still in diapers.”
    • Pray for “your goals” for godly discipline to be manifest in him
  • Listen to him
    • Learn from him
    • Know him better
    • Obey what he says
    • Be interested in what he says/thinks
    • We must be trusted to keep matters confidential
    • We must prove ourselves to be trustworthy to be privy to his innermost thoughts and feelings
  • Guard your tongue
    • “It takes four positive statements to offset one negative one.”
    • Eliminate the accusatory “you”, “never”, and “always”
    • Sometimes it’s best to say nothing!
    • Be your husband’s champion always in public
    • Be his advocate, not his accuser (Rev. 12:10) before the Lord
  • Be yourself
    • You are designed by God for your spouse…ask Him to show you how to perfectly be his completer
    • As God to help you develop your spiritual gifts to enhance your husband’s calling
    • Be the best “you” that you can, to the glory of God
  • Pray for humility
    • To fulfill your role as a servant of the Lord and your husband
    • To never usurp your husband, publicly or privately
    • To be willing to do whatever is necessary, however mundane or inconvenient, to be a part of the team and make it successful
    • To adorn your husband and the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ
      • 1 Pet. 3:3,4
      • Titus 2:10

3 thoughts on “Being Your Husband’s Team Mate

  1. Pingback: Being Your Husband’s Team Mate | jdTVu

  2. Wow!
    I have been really working on these things and this post just reminds me about the differences between what views are Godly and which are worldly.
    Can you imagine an unsaved woman coming to this site, she would think we are crazy “For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God” I Cor 1:18
    But for me, I have seen the implementation of these points change my marriage.
    One thing I have grown to recognize is the fact that it is hard to see his faults if you are always looking for ways to lift him up.
    I used to do nothing but complain about my hubby to others. It was so sad. When I decided to change I was shown that he really isn’t all that bad, and in fact, I really like him! My man is a wonderful husband, a caring provider, and a growing leader in our family. I found that by bragging about him, instead of condemning him, changed not just how others saw him, but how I did.
    I also started asking for permission to do different things, he was shocked (lol) but I could also see him change how he would respond to myself and our kids when he came home from work. He started to feel valuable, my what power we have as women!
    I guess my point is that if we really look at the examples God gives us in the Bible, and truly desire to be the women He wants us to be (instead of the women the world says we should be) and measure our success by how closely we can resemble the Spirit filled woman (instead of using the worlds measures) nothing but good can come of it.
    Our families will be happier, our husbands will be happier and more content, and most importantly God will be joy-filled at our willingness to be who he wants us to be.
    I tell my children often that it doesn’t matter if we, the parents, are happy with their choices and decisions. What matters is if God is happy, because if God is happy, we will automatically be happy.
    So, if I am making the decisions God wants me to make, and my heart is in it, I will also be happy, and content.
    This sooo made sense to me, I may have confused you though!LOL
    Thanks for listening!

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