Welcome

I’m glad you stopped by my blog.  Make yourself at home.  Start meandering by scrolling down…and you can peek into all my cupboards and closets by clicking the side bar.  I know you’ll find some strengthening articles, encouraging resources, fabulous-but-forgotten hymn texts, and perhaps a heartening smile or two.  Most importantly, I hope you’ll be strengthened in your walk with the Lord for the time you spend here with me.  If you do not yet know Him, please click here for a beautiful invitation.  To learn about how He changed my life, click here, and by clicking here you can find out a few more fun and forgettable snippets about me.

If I can do anything to be a further blessing to you, in prayer, or by improving my site, please let me know…or just write to say “Hi”!  Please click here for an email form.

Blessings ~Diane

Happiness, Joy and Gratitude

Someone recently asked me what I thought the difference was between happiness and joy…and how gratitude factors in.  In the years that I’ve been saved, considering these things for myself, these are the conclusions I’ve framed into a reply:

We don’t find “happiness” in the Bible…we do find “happy”. But even that word is confusing. Comes from Middle English “hap” which has to do with chance or luck. As Christians, we know there is no such thing as either. Ours is a sovereign God who does all things by design. Even English dictionaries are a bit muddled on this point, defining “happy” as “delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.”  It would certainly seem happiness is contingent upon circumstances.  Like the song from Oklahoma! states,

“Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day,

I got a beautiful feeling everything’s going my way!”

When things cease to go our way, happiness goes away as well.  What?  You mean feelings aren’t reliable?  Oh dear.  Don’t get me started!  How often have you detected your “feelings” ebbing and flowing on a certain matter (or about a particular person) over a 24hr period?  Be honest.  This is what leads us down the perilous “Follow your heart” path.  I have only one thing to say about that.  Jeremiah 17:9.

I’ve seen “happy” translated (perhaps it was ESV) as “to be envied” or “prosperous”. Well, those are subjective terms, aren’t they? I mean, I may envy someone (in the best sense of course) for something, and that same thing may have no effect whatsoever upon you…it’s not an enviable thing. Same thing with prosperity…someone who owns a fleet of classic cars is not someone I’d envy or view as prosperous, although my husband might. I’d just imagine all the work, insurance, and upkeep! So, all that to say that happiness is subjective as well as fleeting. It has its roots in the tangible, and quite often the human heart may find satisfaction with a new thing for a time, but then is quickly unsatisfied again when something newer or better comes along. As Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes, the eye is never satisfied.

However. Joy is a constant. It is found in God Himself. Just doing a word study on “joy” as well as “satisfied” reveals that true satiation comes from God alone…His likeness (Ps 17:15) and His peculiar blessings. I think Pauls’ epistle to the Philippians is a great illustration of joy in the midst of un-joyful circumstances. As well as the Savior Himself, who willingly endured the cross, despising the shame… for the “joy that was set before Him”.

I think we are more sensible of joy (and less prone to seek “happiness”) the closer we fellowship with the Lord. The deeper we delve into the Word, the more we make it our quest to know Him, the more inescapable the message of grace becomes. We understand more clearly who He is, we become much more honest and frank with ourselves about who we are…and when those two things transpire in tandem, the heart of a blood-bought Christian is overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude is an end result…it springs forth when we are pried away from the sense of entitlement that is naturally a part of the human fabric (and which is encouraged by the world, I might add), and we see with divine discernment that human beings left to themselves are terribly woeful creatures. Gratitude implies that we realize we are undeserving. I think joy and gratitude awaken at the same time.

Something I’ve thought about recently, is that I believe we are all hardwired for complete, perfect satisfaction. Adam and Eve had it in the garden. I don’t think the hankering ever went away. But now, we cannot have it because we are in a sin-tainted world, and we cram all kinds of things into that “God-shaped void”. Life becomes an endless cycle of, “I got what I asked for, but not what I wanted.” I believe this is why David wrote:

 ”Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.” Ps. 16:11

We begin to understand joy only when we become regenerate… but we won’t understand its fulness in this earthly life.

Time 4 Learning Review

The picture says it all.  This is, by far, the best choice I’ve made in homeschooling thus far.  The picture shows our son, who has battled with reading disability in the past.  Today, his first day of Time4Learning, he asked if he could do extra vocabulary.  Extra. Vocabulary.  This is unheard of in our home.  Anything word-oriented was like pulling teeth for him.  In his words, “Mom, I think this is the first time I’ve really liked school!”

Cost

If you sign up as a new member of Time4Learning, you can get your initial month for only $9.99!  That is for each student…but an unlimited number of students.  This is a great opportunity to test drive the program.   There is also a 14-day money back guarantee.  If you decide it’s just not your cup of tea, you can get a refund.  I’m thinkin’ that’s not gonna happen here!   After your initial month, the cost reverts to the original price of $19.95 per month for your first student, and $14.95 for each additional one .  There are no contracts, no hidden costs.  You can cancel any time.

Convenience

The site is very easy to navigate, even for our 1st grader.  The tutorials and online forums fill in any gaps you may have regarding getting started and using the program.  Attendance and record keeping is all done for you.  As a parent, I can log in anytime to make sure my kids are completing their lessons, and I can check their progress and grades as they go.  School can happen anywhere our laptop can go, and any time we choose, 24/7.

Content

Time4Learning is basic core content, primarily math and language arts, also including social studies and science for most grade levels.  There are brief placement tests to determine what level you need for your child.  Also, if you find the content is either too difficult or too easy, you have the wiggle room of moving up or down a grade level for any or all subjects.  Everything I did was easily understandable for even our 1st grader, and explanations and review are offered for everything.  There is a “playground” available (lots of games and education sites and applications to choose from), and you can set the time (which appears in the upper right corner) for how long you’d like your student to work before having access to “recess”.  You also determine how long they can remain at the playground, and the timer shuts things down when it reaches 0.

I am adding some reading and writing to do apart from what our kids are doing through this site, but am very happy with it so far!  I’d encourage you to try it, if you feel it is time to change things up, or even just use it for review.  With the money-back guarantee, nothing is lost if you try it and don’t like it.

If you have further questions, ask away!   If you’d like a personal invitation from Time4Learning, (and help me out in the process by helping me get credit toward our own schooling) just ask, and I’ll refer you!

**Update**

Here are a few extra tidbits, in answer to some questions folks asked when I posted this on Facebook:

• For kids who are not computer savvy, it might be a little more of a challenge; but both of our kids can navigate well. You can mouse over almost all of the buttons and have a verbal directive, which I like, since Katie is reading well, but perhaps not all the words they may use. Some like to use this for summer, or as an additional supplement. The math and language arts are all by general state standards.
• You can use it only for the school year, or all year. You can put your account “dormant” for a period determined by you, for a small fee per month…and this retains all of your grades and records. Or, you can start over fresh each year.
• I started out with Easy Peasy All-in-One Homeschool (and still highly recommend it!) but with health challenges, this is so much more doable for us right now. I know there are many dealing with various struggles that sap energy, and this makes Time4Learning even more appealing. The beauties of homeschooling…we can morph as much as we want!

Disclosure Statement:  As a member of Time4Learning, I have been asked to review their online education program and share my experiences. While I was compensated, this review was not written or edited by Time4Learning and my opinion is entirely my own. Write your own curriculum review or learn how to use their curriculum for homeschool, after school study or summer learning.

Joni Eareckson Tada: “Suffering is a splash from Hell…and a splash from Heaven is finding Jesus in it”

Listen to this sweet, sweet testimony from Joni.  Breathtakingly good medicine…downright surgical.

The Long and Short of Modesty

Image used by permission by Rode to 31.

How long? How short?  How low? How high? Tight? Loose? Opaque? Transparent? Fingertip length?  Below the knee? Hosiery? No hosiery?  These are all questions which have been attached to the term “modesty” in decades past.  Why?

I think in some cases it is easier to manage how our preferences look in a controlled environment.  Many times these stringent standards are set forth out of fear…out of concern for appearances and what others may think.  Should that be the driving force of our choices regarding modesty?  Is it about appearances at all?  Of necessity, sometimes guidelines are necessary; but sometimes we can become rabid in the enforcement of them, getting the cart before the horse.

When children are tiny, we give them directives because they are often not yet mature enough to plug principles into reality.  Keep your dress pulled down.  Wear a slip. Be careful how you bend over.  But even our littles can understand basic principles of modesty if we take the time to address them.

This is what I’ve boiled it down to:

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves” Philippians 2:3

Oversimplified?  I don’t think so.  Let’s break down how this could apply to modesty:

1. Strife:  Does what you are wearing, or your comportment, cause unrest in others?  For instance, although I have no problem with wearing modest jeans or slacks, we have a friend who is offended by this (he’s never said so, but it is obvious by his downcast eyes and demeanor).  If we were to be invited to his place, I would choose to wear a skirt or dress.  We had some Mennonite friends…same thing there.
2. Vainglory: You do realize that a modest dress can be worn immodestly, yes?  If it is worn in a flaunting manner, or a desire to impress or one-up someone, leave it in the closet.  If you’re proud that you are wearing such-and-such a designer, then you’re proud.  What is worn should not call attention to oneself from across a crowded room.  I have told our oldest daughter that whenever she does special music she should consider if there is anything about her chosen outfit which would detract from the message she wants to share?  When I taught at a university, I had a girl come up to me at the end of the semester and comment how much she admired my manicures and how I wore my outfits.  I tried to thank her kindly, but inside I felt a terrible hollow feeling…if that was what she took away from my class, I’d failed miserably.
3. Lowliness of mind:  This passage is about having the mind of Christ.  Although we can’t technically ask “WWJD?” about women’s fashions, we can indeed ask ourselves what He would approve of if He were in our company.  It is His body, after all.  The world says, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”  The Bible says, “All you’ve got is His.”  To see a professing believer openly make clothing choices on the basis of how a particular style accentuates the body is a cause for concern.  It is easy to spout a trite “It’s not about me, it’s all about Him”…but this ought to reflect itself in all of our choices, because for the believer all of life is sacred. We should then ask, what are His purposes?  Am I doing anything to get in the way of them?  Perhaps you’ve lost weight. For His purposes?  Then rejoice in regained health and wellness, but resist the temptation to select outfits with a figure-focus.  If we clothe ourselves in humility, it means we don’t want to call attention to ourselves, but to our Savior.
4. Esteem others:  To esteem means to regard with respect.  This idea of respect is something we must teach.  To view everything with a servant’s heart (in the same passage in Philippians, the Savior is defined as a servant…reading the whole context is a good thing).  So, when we look at how we conduct ourselves, we think of how we might serve them.  Then these gestures such as being careful how to bend over, and keeping clothing in place begin to make more sense.  I want to guard and protect those whom I respect.  I’m not talking about Victorian rules of etiquette (they were covering the legs on furniture, for Pete’s sake!) which show “how it’s done” and define how much class we may have.  No, that would be “all about me.”  My choices should convey that others are important…even more important than my personal preferences.  I recently saw a show on the History Channel which was hosted by “Larry the Cable Guy” (whom I’d never seen before this).  He was giving a televised tour of the Pentagon.  His outfit of choice, while consistent with his character and usual public appearance I suppose, was a scoop-necked tank top with gaping arm holes, a baseball cap, and a pair of shorts.  To my way of thinking, it was disrespectful, regardless of his notoriety.  I suspect he had other, more appropriate choices available in his closet.  But he is not known for his modesty of spirit or lifestyle.
5. Better than self: We are all hard wired to be egocentric. Me first. My rights. When we become Christians, we learn of agape (selfless) love.  We accept it eagerly, but we dispense it poorly.  Loving others, esteeming them, is three-tiered:  We love others as much as we love self (Mk 12:31); then esteem others to be better than ourselves (Phil 2:3); and finally love as God loves (Jn 13:34).  If you think you can get past even the first tier without God’s help, you are misinformed.  Think how much you love yourself.  Be objective, now. Right.  Do you love others that much?  Not just the lovely, lovable people in your life…everyone.  Tall order?  You bet.  We’ve all got homework to do on this score! Self denial is something we must search out in the scriptures because the world and modern psychology will teach us the opposite: to love self above all else.

All this to say, modesty is much more than a system of checks and balances.  It is something which flows from the abundance of our hearts.  A heart issue.  When we understand the humility and servanthood of our Savior, study it, internalize it, then it will work itself out in modest choices.  Just today I saw this quote:

If you want your life to be a reflection of Christ, you need to take time to reflect on Christ.

There it is.  I will close with this hymn text, which is one of my favorites.  If we make this our prayer, divine modesty will be sown in our hearts.

May the mind of Christ, my Savior,
Live in me from day to day,
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say.

May the Word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour,
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power.

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything,
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing.

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea;
Him exalting, self abasing,
This is victory.

May I run the race before me,
Strong and brave to face the foe,
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go.

May His beauty rest upon me,
As I seek the lost to win,
And may they forget the channel,
Seeing only Him. ~Kate B. Wilkinson, 1913

Praying for That Difficult Person

I came across this gem today:

“Help me, merciful High Priest,
to pray for those who have met with accident and sudden sorrow;
for those who are passing through fires,
that they may not be burned;
for those who are wading in deep waters,
that they may not be swept down;
for those who are surrounded by enemies,
that they may not be overpowered;
for those who are lonely, and desolate, and forlorn,
that they may not lose heart.” – F. B. Meyer

Funny how prayer is often the thing we do last.  We say, “Well, I’ve done everything I can…now all I can do is pray.”  We are forgetting, or perhaps not knowledgeable enough, regarding omnipotent, omniscient God.  Convicting?  It is to me, too.

So what about that “difficult” person. The person who will not be reconciled, the person who pushes our buttons without even being in our presence, the person for whom we cannot pray without it turning into a catalog of their offenses toward us, stirring up unrest rather than peace?  What do we do then?

We pray scripture.  Like this:

…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all. (Ephesians 1:17-23 ESV)

and this…

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
(Ephesians 3:14-21 ESV)

If you cannot pray silently without the grocery list rearing its ugly head , then pray these prayers out loud.  I do not buy the ploy of modern psychology regarding “venting”…it is not healthy, only serving to further ingrain the hurt and bitterness.  Rehearsing the hurts also can further convince us of our own feelings (upon which we are far too prone to lean), which very often skew the truth, if not completely perverting it.  There is a reason we’re told not to lean upon our own understanding, and are given a snap shot of our hearts as being sick and corrupt.  They are.  When emotions run high, we need truth…not “feelings.”

Prayer is as much about God’s work in your heart (humbling you, and cultivating an others-centered, self-denying heart) as it is about the person for whom you are praying, and the things you are praying for them.  As we pray for others, we’re very often reminded that the faults of that person are the same faults we contend with ourselves.  God can grow pity and mercy in our hearts, and a compassion toward others which allows us to view them no longer as enemies, but as fellow (albeit flawed, as we are) soldiers, with whom we desperately need to lock shields if anyone involved is going to see victory in this spiritual battle.  We’re stronger together.  The divisions must end.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV)

Pray.  And you may be asking yourself, “Is it possible…could I be the ‘difficult person’ someone else is praying for?”  Well, yes, it may be profitable to keep that option open and pray the above for yourself as well.   Me too.

ps  I’ve recommended this resource before, and I’m sure I will again.  Reconciliation involves biblical choices on the part of everyone involved.  The book “Choosing Forgiveness” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, addresses this thoroughly and effectively. Click here for more information.

If the Shoe Fits…

I had a wonderful time at Bible study this morning.  I was alone.

This blog is mainly just me talking out loud to myself…and others can listen in.  So, I invite you to listen in…esp you ministry gals…because if you are missing this as I was, you will at some time or other, wilt, wither and fizzle.  You may already get this; but sometimes hearing it fresh, or from a different perspective, helps.

This is what I am getting:  Praise Him.  I thought about the lines from Sherwood Films’ Facing the Giants:

“I want God to bless this team so much people will talk about what He did. But it means we gotta give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So I’m askin’ you… What are you living for? I resolve to give God everything I’ve got, then I’ll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you’ll join me.” ~Grant Taylor

In the ministry, it sort of translates to this:

“I want God to bless this church so much people will talk about what He did. But it means I gotta give Him my best in every area. And if I see great attendance and lots of apparent spiritual activity, I praise Him. And if no one shows up and it seems like perhaps nothing is happening, I praise Him. Either way I honor Him with my actions and my attitudes. So I’m askin’ myself… What am I living for? I resolve to give God everything I’ve got, then I’ll leave the results up to Him. I want to know if you’ll join me.”

See, when it becomes all about His purposes and claiming His promises, my perspective changes entirely.  I want His purposes to be wrought in me…that work is monumental enough, considering what I know He has to work with.  So, this morning, instead of wondering why ladies did not come (and understanding that if they seek to meet with Him today, they don’t need to be with me in the church building…His purposes can certainly unfold elsewhere), I talked with Him about what His purpose for me is, and what He wanted to accomplish in me today, since I was there.  I read, prayed, sang, meditated…enjoying the quietness of this special meeting for nearly an hour.  I think His purposes were accomplished today.  One of the hymn texts I read was this:

Though the way seems straight and narrow,
All I claimed was swept away;
My ambitions, plans and wishes,
At my feet in ashes lay. ~Margaret J. Harris, 1898

I have to lay it all before Him.  All my plans, good intentions, my “great ideas”, talents, hopes…everything.  I need to be okay with there perhaps being a respite from using the gift I love, which is teaching, so that I can pay closer attention to His plans.  I need to examine my motives for the plans I make, to be sure they are not about my own agenda.  My study needs to first be about my own heart renovation.  When I grab the precious promises for myself and hold them close, only then can I most effectively dispense them to others.

My prayers have been renovated.  I read this quote this morning:

“Suffering keeps swelling our feet so that earth’s shoes won’t fit.” ~Joni Eareckson Tada

Let’s face it…shoes that are too small hurt.  And they affect the way we walk.  According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, to suffer means to “submit to or be forced to endure” something or to “feel keenly.”  This can mean a lot of things.  The common denominator, whether it is physical pain, heartache, loss, disappointment, grief, or self-denial, is that it is something we would not choose.  It is something to which we must submit or endure, and something we will keenly (acutely) feel. For the believer, there is no “forcing” if we receive whatever it is from our Father’s hand, trusting Him, knowing Him to be loving, all-knowing, and sovereign.  The better we know Him, the more up-close we see Him, the less “forced” we feel.  We begin to relax, because we know that “underneath are the everlasting arms.”

Here is another hymn I read through:

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. ~Civilla D. Martin, 1905

In the portion we are studying right now in Ephesians, these verses are found:

“…even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”
(Ephesians 1:4-6 ESV)

I am His blessed Beloved (!), and He has chosen to lavish me with an identity in Christ, making me “holy and blameless before Him.” He chooses to work the work of progressive sanctification in me, according to His purposes and to the praise of His glorious grace.  It is not about me.  Today is about Him.  What is He trying to do when I am alone at Bible study?  What is His purpose when I have more child rearing challenges than I do patience? When I am bone tired but the laundry beckons?  When I am already spent on every level, but still need to summon energy to bless my husband when he arrives home, needing his loving friend and confidant?  I lean harder.  I allow all the weight of my cares to press into His everlasting arms.  The Spirit teaches me to welcome and even embrace all the things I am called to endure because they all point me to my own weakness (something humans need to be reminded of continually) and allow me to revel in and utterly rely upon His strength.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Cor. 12:9

So, what I pray for myself, my family, my dear church ladies, and our entire church family is this: That our earthly shoes may never fit, whatever the cost, whatever must be endured, whatever pain requires our submission.

Nope.

Spent some time late last night meditating on the words, “Not my will”.  Don’t they sum up a large portion of our lives?

• No, I won’t stay in bed.
• No, I won’t have ice cream for breakfast (at least not routinely ).
• No, I won’t lash out when I am hurt.
• No, I won’t provoke my children to wrath.
• No, I won’t disregard my testimony and circulate gossip.
• No, I won’t take the easy route.
• No, I won’t demand my rights.
• No, I won’t ignore the dirty dishes and the fact that I can’t walk through the living room without stepping over things.
• No, I won’t skip my morning exercise.
• No, I won’t ____________ simply because I don’t feel like it.

Each day is filled with scores of occasions for self denial.  How do we do it “right”?

One of our favorite sets of commentaries is by Jamieson, Faussette and Brown’s, and on Luke 22:40ff it said the following, which I thought was really powerful regarding Christ’s role as our mediator in this contest of our wills:

40. the place–the Garden of Gethsemane, on the west or city side of the mount. Comparing all the accounts of this mysterious scene, the facts appear to be these: (1) He bade nine of the Twelve remain “here” while He went and prayed “yonder.” (2) He “took the other three, Peter, James, and John, and began to be sore amazed [appalled], sorrowful, and very heavy [oppressed], and said, My soul is exceeding sorrowful even unto death”–”I feel as if nature would sink under this load, as if life were ebbing out, and death coming before its time”–”tarry ye here, and watch with Me”; not, “Witness for Me,” but, “Bear Me company.” It did Him good, it seems, to have them beside Him. (3) But soon even they were too much for Him: He must be alone. “He was withdrawn from them about a stone’s-cast”–though near enough for them to be competent witnesses and kneeled down, uttering that most affecting prayer ( Mark 14:36 ), that if possible “the cup,” of His approaching death, “might pass from Him, but if not, His Father’s will be done”: implying that in itself it was so purely revolting that only its being the Father’s will would induce Him to taste it, but that in that view of it He was perfectly prepared to drink it. It is no struggle between a reluctant and a compliant will, but between two views of one event–an abstract and a relative view of it, in the one of which it was revolting, in the other welcome. By signifying how it felt in the one view, He shows His beautiful oneness with ourselves in nature and feeling; by expressing how He regarded it in the other light, He reveals His absolute obediential subjection to His Father. (4) On this, having a momentary relief, for it came upon Him, we imagine, by surges, He returns to the three, and finding them sleeping, He addresses them affectingly, particularly Peter, as in mark 14:37 mark 14:38 . He then (5) goes back, not now to kneel, but fell on His face on the ground, saying the same words, but with this turn, “If this cup may not pass,” &c. ( Matthew 26:42 )–that is, ‘Yes, I understand this mysterious silence ( Psalms 22:1-6 ); it may not pass; I am to drink it, and I will’–”Thy will be done!” (6) Again, for a moment relieved, He returns and finds them “sleeping for sorrow,” warns them as before, but puts a loving construction upon it, separating between the “willing spirit” and the “weak flesh.” (7) Once more, returning to His solitary spot, the surges rise higher, beat more tempestuously, and seem ready to overwhelm Him. To fortify Him for this, “there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven strengthening Him”–not to minister light or comfort (He was to have none of that, and they were not needed nor fitted to convey it), but purely to sustain and brace up sinking nature for a yet hotter and fiercer struggle. And now, He is “in an agony, and prays more earnestly”–even Christ’s prayer, it seems, admitted of and now demanded such increase–”and His sweat was as it were great drops [literally, 'clots'] of blood falling down to the ground.” What was this? Not His proper sacrificial offering, though essential to it. It was just the internal struggle, apparently hushing itself before, but now swelling up again, convulsing His whole inner man, and this so affecting His animal nature that the sweat oozed out from every pore in thick drops of blood, falling to the ground. It was just shuddering nature and indomitable will struggling together. But again the cry, If it must be, Thy will be done, issues from His lips, and all is over. “The bitterness of death is past.” He has anticipated and rehearsed His final conflict, and won the victory–now on the theater of an invincible will, as then on the arena of the Cross. “I will suffer,” is the grand result of Gethsemane: “It is finished” is the shout that bursts from the Cross. The Will without the Deed had been all in vain; but His work was consummated when He carried the now manifested Will into the palpable Deed, “by the which WILL we are sanctified THROUGH THE OFFERING OF THE BODY OF JESUS CHRIST ONCE FOR ALL” ( Hebrews 10:10 ). (8) At the close of the whole scene, finding them still sleeping (worn out with continued sorrow and racking anxiety), He bids them, with an irony of deep emotion, “sleep on now and take their rest, the hour is come, the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners, rise, let us be going, the traitor is at hand.” And while He spoke, Judas approached with his armed band. Thus they proved “miserable comforters,” broken reeds; and thus in His whole work He was alone, and “of the people there was none with Him.”

His resolve seemed to come in waves, much like ours.  I find great consolation in the fact that the Savior struggled with this.  How is that possible, when He was fully God as well as fully man?  I don’t know.  But I am relieved that it is true.  Who can explain completely what it looked like to work through having such a complete dual-nature?  I can’t imagine; but I know it was necessary, not only so that He could be the perfect sacrifice, but also so that He could be the perfect high priest.

For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Heb 4:15

He knows.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Heb 4:16

Because He knows, I can go to Him in absolute confidence.  I will find grace on any occasion where I have to say no to myself.  He said “not my will” for me. He said “it is finished” for me.  This hymn text by pastor friend Chris Anderson at Church Works Media captures the truth and wonder well:

In Eden’s bliss we walked with God
Unhindered by the curse.
Yet we rebelled and were expelled—
Estranged; alone; perverse.
Two mighty cherubs barred the path
To Eden’s holy place;
No more could men, now stained by sin,
Behold our Maker’s face.

Beneath the Law we sought the Lord
Through sacrifice and priest.
One time each year one man, in fear,
Sought God with blood of beast.
Still mighty cherubs blocked the way
So sinners could not pass—
In curtain sewn, on golden throne,
They stopped the rebel fast.

Then Christ appeared to clear the way
To God for sinful man;
Fulfilled the Law without a flaw—
Our Temple, Priest, and Lamb.
Astounded cherubs stepped aside;
Each hid his flaming sword.
With nail and thorn the Veil was torn;
Draw near through Christ the Lord!

In Jesus’ name we boldly come
Before the throne of grace.
With empty hand, in Christ we stand
To seek Almighty’s face
Till saints and cherubs join in awe
Around the Savior’s throne.
With one great voice we will rejoice:
“All praise to Christ alone!”

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